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Being an Adult Is Basically Being a Permanently Exhausted Pigeon
We grew up watching Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide. Too bad nobody made an adulthood version. Remember when we were kids in the 90s and thought adults had everything figured out? They knew how to pay bills, make appointments, cook dinner, manage money, and somehow keep an entire household functioning. I genuinely thought that when I became an adult, all this knowledge would just magically appear in my brain. Like, congratulations! You’re 18! Here’s your official adulthood handbook. Spoiler alert: THERE IS NO HANDBOOK. I’m now 30, and I’ve come to the conclusion that adulthood is basically being a permanently exhausted pigeon. Just wandering around, trying to survive, occasionally finding…
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I’m 30, and I’m Finally Learning That Saying No Doesn’t Make Me Selfish 💜
Growing up meant learning to make everyone happy. Healing is teaching me that my happiness matters, too. Can I admit something? I’ve spent a ridiculous amount of my life worrying about disappointing people. Saying yes when I really wanted to say no. Taking on extra responsibilities when I was already exhausted. And feeling guilty whenever I put my own needs first. Because somewhere along the way, I started believing that being a good person meant always being available. Apparently, my younger self thought having boundaries was against the rules. 🙃 We Were Taught to Push Through Everything Growing up as a millennial, I feel like there was always this expectation to…
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We Were Taught to Respect Our Elders Before We Were Taught to Respect Ourselves
Another 3 AM thought from a 30-something who’s still figuring out boundaries, people-pleasing, and this whole adulthood thing. Growing up as a millennial, I remember hearing one particular phrase over and over again. “Respect your elders.” And with that came a whole list of unwritten rules. Be polite. Don’t talk back. Don’t question adults. Don’t make a scene. Keep the peace. And whatever you do, don’t be disrespectful. We were taught to respect our parents, teachers, bosses, and pretty much anyone older than us. But somewhere along the way, I think we missed an important lesson. What about respecting ourselves? When Did Respect Become Staying Quiet? I don’t think teaching…
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I Lost Pieces of Myself, but I’m Slowly Rebuilding 💜
Sometimes starting over isn’t about getting your old life back. It’s about discovering who you’re becoming. I’ve been thinking about how much my life has changed over the years. And honestly? Sometimes I barely recognize the person I used to be. There were moments when I felt like I had lost so much. My confidence. My motivation. My sense of direction. Even parts of my creativity that once made me feel like myself. Between anxiety, grief, mental health struggles, mistakes, and unexpected setbacks, there were times when I wondered if I’d ever feel like me again. And the hardest part? Life doesn’t exactly come with a reset button. Believe me,…
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Why I Started This Substack (Because Apparently One Blog Wasn’t Enough)
30-something, overthinking, creating, and still figuring out this whole internet thing. I’ve been blogging for years. I’ve created websites, redesigned them, changed my mind about layouts approximately a million times, and spent way too many hours trying to figure out SEO. And guess what? I still haven’t figured it all out. I have my main blog, AbbyJuli.com, where I share mental wellness resources, personal experiences, creative projects, and longer blog posts. And I’m keeping it! But lately, I’ve wanted to get back to something a little simpler. Something that feels more like the old days of blogging, when people shared their thoughts without worrying about keywords, algorithms, or whether their content…
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I’m Learning to Make Myself Proud Instead of Everyone Else 💜
Because maybe I don’t need everyone else’s approval to feel like I’m doing enough. Can I admit something? I’ve spent a lot of my life worrying about making other people proud. My parents. My boss. People online. Even complete strangers who probably don’t think twice about me. 🙃 And somewhere along the way, I started measuring my worth by how other people saw me. If someone complimented me, I felt good. If someone seemed disappointed, I immediately wondered what I’d done wrong. But here’s something I’ve been asking myself lately. When was the last time I actually felt proud of myself? Not because someone told me I did a good…
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Maybe Finding Myself Means Going Back to Who I Used to Be 💜
Sometimes healing isn’t about becoming someone new. Sometimes it’s about remembering who you were before life got so overwhelming. I’ve been thinking about something lately. What if finding yourself isn’t always about moving forward? What if sometimes it’s about going back? Back to the things you used to love. The hobbies that made you happy. The little pieces of yourself that somehow got lost between anxiety, responsibilities, and trying to figure out adulthood. Because honestly? I think I’ve lost touch with parts of myself along the way. Not completely. But enough to notice. Somewhere Along the Way, I Forgot to Just Create I’ve always loved being creative. Photography, drawing, digital…
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“You can do anything—but not everything.”
“You can do anything—but not everything.” Honestly, I think a lot of us forget that. We try to be the strong one, the dependable one, the fixer, the helper, the person who always says yes. We stretch ourselves so thin trying to prove we care that we forget we’re human too. Lately I’ve been realizing that exhaustion is not proof of kindness. One of my coworkers said something that stuck with me:“You can’t always be the hero. They can still count on you if you say no once.” And maybe that’s what healing looks like sometimes. Not becoming cold.Not stopping caring.Just learning that being a good person does not require…
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Remember When Our Biggest Worries Were So Simple? 💜
We wanted to grow up so badly. Nobody warned us about bills, burnout, and having to figure out dinner every single night. Remember when our biggest worries were whether Mom would let us stay home from school? Or whether we’d finish our homework before our favorite TV show came on? Maybe it was deciding whether to spend our allowance on candy, a new CD, or something from the mall. And remember when getting grounded and losing TV privileges felt like the end of the world? Seriously, we had no idea what was coming. 😂 As a ‘90s kid, I couldn’t wait to grow up. No bedtime. No homework. No parents telling…
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My Mind Isn’t Always a Quiet Place, So I Turn My Feelings Into Art 💜
Living with anxiety, depression, and schizophrenia—and finding a little peace through creativity. Sometimes I wish I could turn my brain off. Not forever. Just long enough to enjoy a little peace and quiet. Because honestly? Living inside my head can be exhausting. There’s the anxiety that makes me overthink absolutely everything. The depression that sometimes makes even the things I love feel difficult to enjoy. And schizophrenia, which can add an entirely different kind of confusion and noise to my thoughts. It’s a lot. Some days, my mind feels like 50 browser tabs are open, half of them are frozen, and I have absolutely no idea where the music is…
Everyone solves their life issues at 3AM right?!