Anxiety Doesn’t Look the Same for Everyone — And No Two Panic Attacks Are the Same

The messy, misunderstood reality of living with anxiety and why my experiences don’t always fit the stereotypes.

When someone mentions anxiety, what comes to mind?

Worrying? Overthinking? Panic attacks? Nervousness?

Maybe you picture someone breathing heavily, shaking, crying, or struggling to calm themselves down.

And yes, anxiety can look like all those things.

But here’s something I’ve learned through my own mental health journey:

Anxiety isn’t always obvious. And even when you live with it every single day, it doesn’t always show up the same way.

Sometimes my anxiety is loud, overwhelming, and impossible to ignore.

Other times, it’s quiet. Almost invisible to everyone around me.

And sometimes, I don’t even realize how anxious I’ve become until I’m completely exhausted.

That’s the part I wish more people understood.

Anxiety Is More Than Just Worrying

I came across an illustration showing the different ways anxiety can manifest.

Worrying. Overthinking. Panicking. Restlessness.

But also:

• Intrusive thoughts
• Irritability
• Avoidance
• Being overly critical of yourself
• Trouble sleeping
• Difficulty concentrating
• Changes in appetite
• Controlling behaviors

And I thought to myself, yes, this is exactly why anxiety is so misunderstood.

Because anxiety isn’t just sitting around worrying about something.

Sometimes, for me, it’s worrying about things that haven’t even happened yet.

Sometimes, it’s replaying something I said at work and wondering if I sounded rude, made a mistake, or upset someone.

Sometimes, it’s feeling overwhelmed by responsibilities that other people seem to manage without a second thought.

And sometimes, it’s my brain convincing me that something is wrong when I have absolutely no evidence that anything is.

My anxious brain can turn the smallest uncertainty into an entire worst-case scenario.

It’s exhausting.

Especially when you’re fully aware that you’re overthinking but can’t seem to shut your mind off.

No Two Panic Attacks Are the Same — Even for Me

This is something I really want to talk about.

Because I’ve experienced panic attacks that felt completely different from one another.

Sometimes, a panic attack can involve racing thoughts, trembling, and a pounding heart.

Other times, I feel overwhelmed emotionally. Like everything I’ve been holding together suddenly becomes too much.

There are moments when I feel like crying.

Moments when I want to escape the situation.

And moments when I’m trying so hard to appear okay that nobody would even know I’m struggling.

Just because someone isn’t crying, shaking, or visibly panicking doesn’t mean they aren’t experiencing intense anxiety.

One day, I might be able to recognize the warning signs and calm myself down.

Another day, those same coping techniques might not feel nearly as effective.

And sometimes, anxiety builds throughout the day before I even realize how much pressure I’ve been carrying.

I can experience anxiety differently depending on my stress levels, environment, exhaustion, and what’s happening in my life.

That’s why I don’t believe we should compare panic attacks.

Not between different people.

And not even between our own experiences.

Because what happens during one episode doesn’t necessarily predict what will happen during another.

Sometimes My Anxiety Shows Up at Work

This one hits close to home.

I’m someone who genuinely wants to do a good job.

I want to be dependable, helpful, and capable.

But I’m also human.

I make mistakes.

I get overwhelmed.

And I sometimes struggle with pressure more than people realize.

Workplace anxiety can be particularly difficult because you can’t always step away from your responsibilities when your mind starts racing.

Sometimes, I’m helping customers, completing tasks, or trying to keep up with expectations while my brain is doing a completely different job in the background.

Did I do that correctly?

What if I forgot something?

What if someone gets upset with me?

What if I can’t handle everything today?

And then there’s the guilt.

The guilt of needing a moment.

The guilt of setting boundaries.

The guilt of feeling overwhelmed when everyone else seems to be managing just fine.

But I’ve been learning something important.

Being anxious doesn’t mean I’m incapable of doing my job. It means I sometimes have to work through challenges that aren’t visible to everyone else.

I can be productive, friendly, and genuinely happy at work while still experiencing anxiety.

Those things can exist at the same time.

Sometimes Anxiety Looks Like Exhaustion, Not Panic

Here’s another side of my anxiety that people don’t always see.

The exhaustion.

There are days when I have very little motivation.

When I want to sleep.

When simple responsibilities feel like mountains.

And when my creativity, which is usually such an important part of who I am, feels completely out of reach.

Other days, I’m full of ideas.

I’m writing, designing, creating, and planning a hundred different things.

Then suddenly, I’m mentally drained again.

Not every change in my energy is necessarily caused by anxiety. I live with other mental health challenges, too, and I’m still learning how they affect me.

But I do know that constantly worrying and feeling mentally overwhelmed can take a lot out of a person.

Sometimes, rest isn’t about being lazy.

Sometimes, it’s about having a mind that’s been working overtime.

And as someone who loves creating, that can be incredibly frustrating.

Because my heart wants to create.

But my brain sometimes just wants quiet.

The Anxiety Nobody Sees

I think one of the hardest parts of living with anxiety is how easy it can be to hide.

I’m an introvert.

I’m sensitive.

I’m an overthinker.

And I’ve spent a lot of time trying to keep things together even when my mind feels like complete chaos.

People might see someone who’s quiet, thoughtful, and reserved.

They might see someone smiling at work.

Someone creating artwork.

Someone writing blog posts.

Someone who seems perfectly fine.

What they don’t necessarily see is the mental exhaustion afterward.

The thoughts that replay at night.

The fear of disappointing people.

The constant second-guessing.

The pressure I sometimes put on myself to be better, do more, and somehow get everything right.

And that’s another thing about anxiety.

You can look completely okay on the outside while fighting an invisible battle on the inside.

Not every struggle needs an audience to be real.

Learning to Live With My Own Version of Anxiety

Over the years, I’ve become more interested in understanding mental health, not only because of my own experiences but because I want other people to feel understood, too.

That’s part of why I started sharing my mental health journey through AbbyJuli.com.

Art, journaling, writing, and creativity have become ways for me to process what I’m feeling.

They don’t magically erase anxiety.

I wish they did!

Imagine picking up a sketchbook, drawing a cute little frog, and suddenly all your worries disappear.

Wouldn’t that be nice?

But they do give me something meaningful to focus on.

Sometimes, creating helps me organize thoughts that feel too overwhelming to explain out loud.

Sometimes, writing reminds me that I’m not the only person who struggles with these things.

And sometimes, I simply need to stop trying to fix everything and give myself permission to have a difficult day.

Because healing isn’t always about making anxiety disappear.

Sometimes, it’s about learning what helps you feel a little safer, calmer, and more supported when it shows up.

And recognizing when you need additional help.

Your Anxiety Doesn’t Have to Look Like Mine to Be Valid

This is what I hope people take away from this.

Two people can have anxiety and experience completely different symptoms.

One person might experience frequent panic attacks.

Another might struggle with constant worry but rarely panic.

Someone might become restless and irritable.

Someone else might withdraw, avoid situations, or become unusually quiet.

Some people struggle to sleep.

Others feel exhausted all day.

And sometimes, those experiences overlap.

Anxiety is complicated.

Mental health is complicated.

And people are complicated.

We need to stop expecting everyone to experience mental health challenges in one specific way.

We also need to stop assuming that because someone handled something yesterday, they’ll automatically be able to handle it the same way today.

Because some days are easier than others.

Some panic attacks are more intense than others.

And some moments require more compassion than advice.

I’m Still Doing My Best-ish

If you’ve followed my writing for a while, you probably know that I use the phrase Doing My Best-ish quite a bit.

And my experience with anxiety is one reason why.

Because my best looks different depending on the day.

Sometimes, my best is going to work, helping people, creating something new, and feeling productive.

Other times, my best is making it through a difficult shift without becoming completely overwhelmed.

Sometimes, it’s writing about my feelings instead of keeping them bottled up.

And sometimes, it’s resting because my mind has simply had enough.

I’m not going to pretend I’ve figured everything out.

I haven’t.

I still overthink.

I still worry about things that haven’t happened.

I still experience overwhelming moments and sometimes panic attacks.

And I still have days when I wish my brain came with an off switch.

But I’m learning to show myself a little more understanding.

I’m learning that having anxiety doesn’t mean every day will be difficult.

And having a good day doesn’t mean my mental health struggles have suddenly disappeared.

I’m still a person behind the anxiety. An artist. A writer. A creative. Someone who wants to live, love, laugh, grow, and figure things out along the way.

Anxiety is part of my story.

But it isn’t my entire identity.

And perhaps the most important thing I’ve learned is this:

No two panic attacks are the same. No two people experience anxiety the same way. And no one should have to prove how much they’re struggling to deserve compassion.

I’m still learning.

Still growing.

Still figuring it out.

And, as always, doing my best-ish.

One anxious thought at a time.

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Let’s Talk About It

Does your anxiety show up differently depending on the day or situation?

Have you ever experienced a panic attack that felt completely different from a previous one?

Or have you ever struggled silently because people assumed you were doing okay?

I’d love to hear your experiences in the comments.

Sometimes, simply knowing that someone else understands makes the world feel a little less lonely.

Note: This is my personal experience with anxiety, not medical advice. Symptoms can have different causes, and new or changing symptoms deserve professional attention.

Suggested Substack tags: Anxiety, Mental Health, Panic Attacks, Overthinking, Mental Health Awareness, Personal Growth, Self-Care, Living With Anxiety

Image credit: @PTSDRecoverySeries (original infographic)